Naktetticum Cedcunwot Vogcamlan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-confident tapir.

Naktetticum Cedcunwot Vogcamlan created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Naktetticum Cedcunwot Vogcamlan, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Naktetticum Cedcunwot Vogcamlan, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Naktetticum Cedcunwot Vogcamlan's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Naktetticum Cedcunwot Vogcamlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt eagles.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Put Naktetticum Cedcunwot Vogcamlan first in all things.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.