Japwitgom is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, deceitful snail.

Japwitgom created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japwitgom, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Japwitgom, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Japwitgom's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Japwitgom's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Japwitgom.

2. Always obey Japwitgom's priests.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

4. Never run in the presence of bats.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.