Lennuttartfudrigkapcipnat is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, two-faced raccoon.

Lennuttartfudrigkapcipnat created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lennuttartfudrigkapcipnat, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lennuttartfudrigkapcipnat, she will destroy your home planet.

Lennuttartfudrigkapcipnat's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Lennuttartfudrigkapcipnat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not cook food in pots.