Tonkmaplip is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, all-powerful armadillo.

Tonkmaplip created the Sol system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkmaplip, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tonkmaplip, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tonkmaplip's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Tonkmaplip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about nuts.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. You must pray to Tonkmaplip six times a day.

4. Never hurt ducks.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.