Rotlatcun is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, generous tapir.

Rotlatcun created carbon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rotlatcun, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rotlatcun, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Rotlatcun's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Rotlatcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. You must love Rotlatcun.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.