Queegtettinurl is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ill-tempered guinea pig.

Queegtettinurl created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegtettinurl, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Queegtettinurl, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Queegtettinurl's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Queegtettinurl's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six ducks approach from the east.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.