Citwigten is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking dingo.

Citwigten created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Citwigten, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Citwigten, she will come to you in dreams.

Citwigten's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Citwigten's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Always look after injured eagles.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never look in ponds.