Stigbassjoprilyim is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, bad-tempered dragon.

Stigbassjoprilyim created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stigbassjoprilyim, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stigbassjoprilyim, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Stigbassjoprilyim's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Stigbassjoprilyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Stigbassjoprilyim's name in vain.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Stigbassjoprilyim on top of all buildings.

3. You must pray to Stigbassjoprilyim three times a day.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stigbassjoprilyim.

5. Do not stand on grass.