Xuccissfon is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, kind coyote.

Xuccissfon created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuccissfon, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Xuccissfon, he will not care at all.

Xuccissfon's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Xuccissfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Retreat if eight aardvarks approach from the east.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Xuccissfon loves doves, so they must be respected.