Arpbessdad is a god.

It takes the form of a small, smart parrot.

Arpbessdad created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpbessdad, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Arpbessdad, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Arpbessdad's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Arpbessdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Mice are not to be trusted.