Wotquamsag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, two-faced raccoon.

Wotquamsag created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Wotquamsag, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wotquamsag, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Wotquamsag's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Wotquamsag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Never sing near monkeys.

5. Never wear purple corsets.