Vabquagjam is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, compassionate bear.

Vabquagjam created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabquagjam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vabquagjam, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vabquagjam's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Vabquagjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Do not take Vabquagjam's name in vain.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.