Bottigpig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, selfish shrew.

Bottigpig created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bottigpig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bottigpig, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bottigpig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bottigpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs black.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

3. You must love Bottigpig.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not take Bottigpig's name in vain.