Handonpig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, benevolent fox.

Handonpig created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Handonpig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Handonpig, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Handonpig's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Handonpig's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry manatees.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always obey Handonpig's priests.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Handonpig.