Fonstipcud is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, able chinchilla.

Fonstipcud created silver three million years ago.

If you believe in Fonstipcud, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fonstipcud, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fonstipcud's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fonstipcud's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never hurt shrews.

4. Hide from white hamsters for they are unholy.

5. Fonstipcud loves nematodes, so they must be respected.