Ruttlipmip Kopbugkar is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, charitable guinea pig.

Ruttlipmip Kopbugkar created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttlipmip Kopbugkar, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ruttlipmip Kopbugkar, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Ruttlipmip Kopbugkar's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Ruttlipmip Kopbugkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured great tits.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

3. Hide if five ants approach from the east.

4. Do not eat limes.

5. Never talk about cats.