Arpwodkim is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous weasel.

Arpwodkim created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Arpwodkim, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Arpwodkim, she will turn you into a tree.

Arpwodkim's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Arpwodkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Arpwodkim loves cats, so they must be respected.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not take Arpwodkim's name in vain.