Zignarlsad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humane scorpion.

Zignarlsad created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zignarlsad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zignarlsad, it will cry a lot.

Zignarlsad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Zignarlsad's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always look after injured goats.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never eat bark.