Nutsitlarp is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unjust squirrel.

Nutsitlarp created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutsitlarp, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nutsitlarp, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Nutsitlarp's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Nutsitlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always help aardvarks.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.