Bafontpig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome tapir.

Bafontpig created the Sol system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafontpig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bafontpig, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Bafontpig's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bafontpig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Bafontpig loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Fast once a month.