Wodwondin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, tiresome turtle.

Wodwondin created the Andromeda Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wodwondin, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Wodwondin, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wodwondin's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Wodwondin's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry hamsters.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Wodwondin loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Fast once a month.