Dapyarlfab is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, temperamental centaur.

Dapyarlfab created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Dapyarlfab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dapyarlfab, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dapyarlfab's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dapyarlfab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Never run near otters.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.