Lanxincen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fast scorpion.

Lanxincen created the Large Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanxincen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lanxincen, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Lanxincen's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Lanxincen's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

5. Worship no other gods but Lanxincen.