Kinranjen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome chicken.

Kinranjen created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinranjen, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kinranjen, it will cry a lot.

Kinranjen's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Kinranjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt monkeys.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never sit in the presence of squirrels.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.