Teenlinsag is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, blissful crab.

Teenlinsag created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Teenlinsag, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Teenlinsag, she will turn you into a tree.

Teenlinsag's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Teenlinsag's Holy Commandments

1. Teenlinsag must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always stare at clouds.