Rutdagwig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic swan.

Rutdagwig created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Rutdagwig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rutdagwig, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Rutdagwig's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Rutdagwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet shoes.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rutdagwig.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.