Mumflatfig is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, dishonest dryad.

Mumflatfig created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Mumflatfig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mumflatfig, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Mumflatfig's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Mumflatfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat beans.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Never talk about fire.