Flapgovxen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humane deer.

Flapgovxen created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapgovxen, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flapgovxen, he will throw large rocks at you.

Flapgovxen's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Flapgovxen's Holy Commandments

1. Put Flapgovxen first in all things.

2. Always help porpoises in need.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Retreat if four gulls approach from the north.

5. Always help sick pigs.