Dutbogstik is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, grumpy raven.

Dutbogstik created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dutbogstik, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dutbogstik, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Dutbogstik's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Dutbogstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Dutbogstik loves ants, so they must be honoured.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

5. Do not run in public.