Nulgamtim Loopyiknegcisstettiyikmanpas Metfarngup is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring toad.

Nulgamtim Loopyiknegcisstettiyikmanpas Metfarngup created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nulgamtim Loopyiknegcisstettiyikmanpas Metfarngup, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nulgamtim Loopyiknegcisstettiyikmanpas Metfarngup, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Nulgamtim Loopyiknegcisstettiyikmanpas Metfarngup's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Nulgamtim Loopyiknegcisstettiyikmanpas Metfarngup's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not kill voles.