Vabnartbessdabtad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, cheerful shrew.

Vabnartbessdabtad created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabnartbessdabtad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vabnartbessdabtad, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Vabnartbessdabtad's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Vabnartbessdabtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always look after injured turtles.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

5. Never eat bark.