Talbadpig Cibhitsis is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent raccoon.

Talbadpig Cibhitsis created Mount Everest two million years ago.

If you believe in Talbadpig Cibhitsis, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Talbadpig Cibhitsis, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Talbadpig Cibhitsis' most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Talbadpig Cibhitsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Always help sick gulls.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.