Canjopshav is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, self-assured meerkat.

Canjopshav created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Canjopshav, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Canjopshav, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Canjopshav's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Canjopshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Always wear violet.