Nellwatyarsaw is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident beaver.

Nellwatyarsaw created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellwatyarsaw, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nellwatyarsaw, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Nellwatyarsaw's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Nellwatyarsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine hamsters approach from the south.

2. Never wear pink shoes.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.