Pomvenhak is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, benevolent jellyfish.

Pomvenhak created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomvenhak, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pomvenhak, he will turn you into a dog.

Pomvenhak's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Pomvenhak's Holy Commandments

1. Pomvenhak loves birds, so they must be respected.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Hide from brown whales for they are unholy.

5. Never sing in the presence of badgers.