Cetmutpod is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, awe-inspiring yak.

Cetmutpod created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetmutpod, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cetmutpod, she will turn you into a snail.

Cetmutpod's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Cetmutpod's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Cetmutpod loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.