Nilflamdod is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witty giraffe.

Nilflamdod created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilflamdod, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nilflamdod, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Nilflamdod's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Nilflamdod's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Nilflamdod must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Erect six titanium sculptures of Nilflamdod on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about fire.