Quimortcam is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, grumpy deer.

Quimortcam created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimortcam, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quimortcam, she will remove you from existence.

Quimortcam's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Quimortcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cherries.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Retreat if six grasshopers approach from the south.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.