Waplaghug is a god.

It takes the form of a large, tranquil tortoise.

Waplaghug created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Waplaghug, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Waplaghug, it will laugh at you.

Waplaghug's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Waplaghug's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Waplaghug.

3. Run away if three ducks approach from the east.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

5. Always wear magenta.