Honpitquag is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, fast weasel.

Honpitquag created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honpitquag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Honpitquag, it will not care.

Honpitquag's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Honpitquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Never wear black dresses.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.