Hakqueegrull is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, caring dog.

Hakqueegrull created light two years ago.

If you believe in Hakqueegrull, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hakqueegrull, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Hakqueegrull's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Hakqueegrull's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick horses.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Run away if seven great tits approach from the north.

4. Never eat lentils.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.