Tifdamvig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unthoughtful gorilla.

Tifdamvig created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifdamvig, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tifdamvig, she will try to impress you with trees.

Tifdamvig's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Tifdamvig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tifdamvig first in all things.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.