Quimpignur Tailpongud is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ill-tempered scorpion.

Quimpignur Tailpongud created the Whirlpool Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimpignur Tailpongud, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quimpignur Tailpongud, it will throw large rocks at you.

Quimpignur Tailpongud's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Quimpignur Tailpongud's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

5. Erect five lead sculptures of Quimpignur Tailpongud on top of important buildings.