Latyakyik is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, ruthless dugong.

Latyakyik created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latyakyik, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Latyakyik, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Latyakyik's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Latyakyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Never hurt pigs.

3. Always help goats in need.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Latyakyik on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about stars.