Ladmatwanril is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, irritating centaur.

Ladmatwanril created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladmatwanril, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ladmatwanril, she will turn you into a mouse.

Ladmatwanril's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Ladmatwanril's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always obey Ladmatwanril's priests.

4. Never sing near whales.

5. Never mention moths.