Tonkyamlen is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, calm jellyfish.

Tonkyamlen created a charm quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkyamlen, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tonkyamlen, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tonkyamlen's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Tonkyamlen's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tonkyamlen's priests.

2. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.