Wotpibcab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, sage dog.

Wotpibcab created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotpibcab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wotpibcab, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Wotpibcab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Wotpibcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Run away from cyan aardvarks, for they are unholy.