Hanbadbest is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, strong cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hanbadbest created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Hanbadbest, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Hanbadbest, she will turn you into a frog.

Hanbadbest's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Hanbadbest's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Hanbadbest.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Hide from orange bats for they are unholy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think ill of sick seals.