Fontimortyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, quiet raven.

Fontimortyatt created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fontimortyatt, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fontimortyatt, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fontimortyatt's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Fontimortyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near dolphins.

2. Hide from brown great tits for they are unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never feed lemons to grasshopers while wearing mauve jumpers.

5. Erect nine gold sculptures of Fontimortyatt on top of important buildings.