Taildinpas Fencitvolgun is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, weak unicorn.

Taildinpas Fencitvolgun created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Taildinpas Fencitvolgun, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Taildinpas Fencitvolgun, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Taildinpas Fencitvolgun's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Taildinpas Fencitvolgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Never paint your legs cyan.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Taildinpas Fencitvolgun on top of all buildings.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help eagles in need.